Monday, December 19, 2011


Are you like me? Does your heart melt looking at all those warmly lit, slightly overexposed (so they glow) photos of holiday celebrations in the Martha Stewart books, and do you hate her for reminding you that you never enjoyed a holiday so perfectly arranged and never will? The woman did time for obstructing justice! Why do I long to spend Christmas with her??

Martha’s daughter didn’t profit (emotionally, anyway) from her mother’s homemaking (take a look at Alexis Stewart’s recent book, Whateverland; APL doesn't have it), so it should be obvious that it’s healthy to keep Martha at a distance—she directing teams of crafters in her snow-kissed Connecticut manse; I with my glue gun in Texas—yet I want just once to find myself sitting on a spindly Early American chair in a meticulously restored, candle-lit, antebellum New England home, Martha bending to offer me a perfectly made eggnog and a work-of-art sugar cookie painted flawlessly with royal icing.

I can’t explain it. I bet you can’t either.

There’s still time to create Martha’s fantasyland, if you can:

Martha Stewart’s Cookies
Martha Stewart’s New Pies and Tarts
Martha’s Entertaining
Martha’s Holiday Celebrations (DVD)
Martha’s Favorite Cookies (DVD)
Martha Stewart’s Baking Handbook
Martha’s Homemade Holidays (DVD)

Authors' names:


Evelyn Carnahan said...

I <B Martha

Anonymous said...

Second one is Kinky Friedman; still stumped on the first...

Bubba said...

I can't for the life of me figure out the first one. But the second is none other than the inimitable Kinky Friedman.

tim snead said...

The first one is too hard. I shouldn't have used it. What kind of fish is it and what kind of party?

Anonymous said...

Oscar Wilde ?

ACLS Reference said...

That's it!! I'm sorry for that one. It wasn't very good.